My year started full of anxiety, stress and fear. The last couple years raising a teenage boy who was struggling was hard, to say the least. Probably the hardest couple of years I've ever had. My primary goal aside from providing for and protecting my family was to get my baby over the graduation stage. There were moments I didn't think it would happen. I was an insurance broker by day and a self-appointed officer of the law by night. Where is my teenager, who is he hanging out with, has he done what he's supposed to do AND am I also showing him a right amount of love and affection or am I just 100% hard ass all the time? There were times it was hard to shake one role for the other. And days I didn't think I was going to make it. June came around and he did it. It was one really close call but he graduated. That was a proud moment.
Within two weeks of graduation, my son, daughter (then 8) and I piled in to his 1999 Honda Civic and drove to Alaska. My kids and I tackled an adventure together that took us through British Columbia to the Yukon Territory where we slept in the car one night for the 3 hours of twilight the Northern Territories actually gets. We saw grizzly bears and moose along the AlCan and finally arrived to our Anchorage destination. I helped my son settle in his new summer digs. He learned about hard work with manly men and packed his own lunches. He came home a changed person and a young man that made me even more proud than the day he graduated. I saw glimpses of the man he's becoming and this alone helped me to lay aside so much of the anxiety I had been feeling. He's a work in progress, as we all are. Finding his path like we all have to do.
I will leave 2012 behind and remember how I fought for my son and all the people who were there for us. I am thankful that in a span of 12 months, life can change from anxiety and fear to peace and faith. I am thankful for this moment of rest. I have a new brother-in-law and nephew! This year my family and I have new, fond memories and a different sort of trust in one another. We went to war and left no one behind. I look ahead to 2013 with great expectations: great success at work, more happy memories with my children, new strength for struggles that will come and an open heart for new adventures. My quest continues to be a great mother, a faithful friend and an awesome contributor in my workplace all while truly loving this life I'm gifted with.
