My New Place . . .

This blog post has been a long time coming.  I’ve been struggling and then struggling on sharing this deep part of myself with others.  I’ve had some sort of idea about the content but the words wouldn’t come in a way that felt right.  I found the words running not long ago and have been sitting on this ever since.

Wellness isn’t just about the gym or food. Those things are important but you can spend an inordinate amount of time on these and be dying on the inside.  The past several months I’ve struggled with my inside wellness.  I’m not as far along on the goals I set for myself because I encountered setbacks.  Setbacks that for a while I feared might get the best of me.  The death of someone I love and that she chose to die.  A betrayal from someone I loved and the heartbreak of being discarded.  The ongoing challenges of raising two kids and the loneliness that comes from doing that alone. There is stress of being a sole provider and carrying a lot of work responsibility. I have wrestled with many dark things over the past year and hidden most of it from the people who know and love me best.  Sure, they knew some but they have no idea how bad it was and that’s best.  In my grief, anger, questions, heartbreak and FEAR I was literally brought to my knees.  For the first time in a very long time I was listening to my spirit and wanting THAT part of me to be healthy.

The point of this isn’t to be preachy but encouraging.  In my soul searching and asking God many  questions, I came to several conclusions.

There is no person in this world, no matter how much they love you and vice versa who can make you feel more loved, more treasured and more valued than the One who created you. 

Life isn’t fair.  “The rain falls on the just and the unjust.” – Matthew 5:45. It’s something everyone has in common.  Bad things happen and you weren’t meant to face them without God. 

I haven’t been given the Spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7).  I HAVE been given the gifts of tenacity, perseverance and the heart of a warrior.  You didn’t give it to me and you can’t take it away.  No one and I mean no one has the power to knock me off course, ruin my day or determine my worth. 

If you’ve been knocked off course, have just enough courage to get to your knees.  As Chris Hill said – and I love this – “You may have to use what you have left but what you have left is more than enough.”  Life doesn’t get to just happen to you.  No matter your heartbreak, your loss, your setback, your mistakes – Jesus ain’t afraid!  In fact, He knew it would happen and He’s made a way for you.  I love the story from Mark 4 when Jesus and the disciples were crossing the lake in a boat.  There was a storm and the waves were crashing around them and water was flooding the boat.  Jesus was still asleep.  He was calm because He was in control and He already had a plan.  I have thought on this many times in the last few months. 

I have remembered Pastor Cheryl Haskins who stood in front of our church exactly one week after her husband, Pastor Aaron died suddenly.  She said that God was still good and she was still praising Him.   As we struggle with life’s challenges, it’s important we do the same.  We need to have a faith in something bigger than ourselves.   When we don’t have that hope and faith in something grander than ourselves, we can become fat, depressed, bitter and angry.  We take it out on those we love the most. That’s really no way to live at all.  I’m focusing on something much greater and have found my path again.  It is well with my soul.  How are you?

Practical Food Tips that Help Me...

Anyone who has conquered weight or enjoys the rewards of a fit body will tell you, the food you eat is at least 80% of your overall success.  Some great food tips no matter what your goals are:

- Set reasonable expectations and know it may be a month or more before you or others notice changes.

- Eat every 3 to 4 hours.   Yes, it requires planning (see next point), but it will help you avoid over eating as well energy dips and spikes through out the day.

- Plan ahead.   If you're going to eat healthy, you're going to have to bring meals with you. I spend time every Sunday evening roasting chicken or turkey, boiling eggs, cooking quinoa and slicing up veggies so that eating well during the work week is easy. If it's not easy, you won't do it . . .

- Deal with food cravings by not depriving yourself. Instead of having a whole bar of chocolate, have a square of dark chocolate. Have a splurge meal once a week, just be sure the splurge doesn’t include the whole pizza or the whole pint of ice cream.  This is a great time to practice moderation.

- Shop the perimeter in the grocery store. All the fresh vegetables, fruits and meats are on the perimeter. Once you get inside, that’s where all the processed, high fat and high sodium foods are.

- Everyone is going to eat out. Read up to make sure you know what’s really okay. Some people swear by “Eat This, Not That!”

Need food guidance? Here are some links to good resources and recipes:

www.bodyforlife.com

www.cleaneatingmag.com

www.weightwatchers.com

Motivation is sometimes a fickle thing and a 4 letter word. . .

I wish I was always motivated.  I could pin it on a number of things and I’m sure they’re all a bit to blame:  It’s dark early; I’m working too many hours; My kids have already called me at least twice to see what’s for dinner; I’m tired; Nothing sounds FUN!  Maybe it can be traced back to our ancestors who spent warm months hunting and gathering and then hunkered down through the winter. 

Regardless, I don’t typically find it hard to get to the gym.  These past few months, my attendance in sweat sessions has been sporadic at best and downright embarrassing.  I’ve downloaded new workout tunes on my iPod.  I called up a friend about meeting for a gym session (to which he replied “Come on.  I’m always there!  Where are YOU?”) and I bought cute new workout gear because yes, that usually motivates me.  I bought the latest edition of my favorite workout magazine http://www.oxygenmag.com/index.php   

Still not motivated. Right now I want to watch bad TV, hot chocolate in hand, and I’m sure if I could drag my butt off the couch, I would find an unopened box of Tagalongs™ http://www.girlscoutcookies.org/meet_the_cookies.asp  in the cupboard.

I will rally and get through this and I will be happy I did.  In the meantime, what do YOU do when you’re lacking motivation?  I’d love to hear anything guilt and shame free.

My Lightbulb Moment and Goodbye to Fat Danielle!

Welcome to my wellness blog!  I am genuinely excited to begin this journey with you.  My goal is to share information about exercise, nutrition, work-life balance and any other topic encourages you and I to live a life centered around wellness. I'll share as will other contributors and so will you.   Share your personal accomplishments, encourage others, ask questions and tell me what you're learning.  

Every story has a beginning and I'd like to introduce myself.  I haven't always been well with a healthy BMI. I smoked cigarettes to unwind and ate to soothe myself. My grandmother died too young, obese and completely wrecked with complications from diabetes. My grandfather died at 36 from lung cancer. I was not on a promising path. It took a diabetes risk quiz from my employer AND family photos after vacationing to wake up.  I barely recognized myself.   I am 5’2”, weighed 170 pounds and couldn’t see my kneecaps.

That was my moment. The one where I decided that girl in an old woman’s body wasn’t me and I would change it. 

It took me about a year to lose 50 pounds and longer to quit smoking. There were days in the gym I cried because I had to face how out of shape I was and how ugly I felt.  In the process, I discovered someone strong and resiliant – a woman-warrior within.  I learned I was physically capable of pushing myself to limits that were painful and yet I didn't die.  I was empowered and Fat Danielle was gone.  If I was capable of changing my physical composition, I could get other areas of my life in control.

I’ve shared my story and I’d really like to know yours.